Job hoppers

Ever worked with a "job hopper"?

Someone who constantly applied for internal job postings and is not afraid to admit she's been in 7 different jobs in just as many (or less) years.

We have an opening and I would love to apply. I am, honestly, afraid she will apply... I don't think I can work directly with her.

I'm having a rough start today.

Times like this...

I'm stressed, I have been munching, I've had an anxiety attack and I could really use a hot bath, but my son is in the tub.

I could really use a 2nd bathroom right about now.

Today was my final exam in class, my computer went wonky and I'm anxious.

This sucks!

Little things can cause stress

Sometimes I know that my mind gets the best if me and I let little things wear on me.

I know things go wrong, and in my brain, I scream and holler, rant and rave, but nothing ever comes out if my mouth. I can't yell and scream, so if I do, it's a rare occasion that concerns people.

I get so mad at stupid stuff but then i don't day anything because I feel it's not worth an argument!

Today (and yesterday), there were several  things that happened to really piss me off, but I take the easy way out, not saying anything, because it's really just not worth it. 

I know better but oh well.

List my mind

I know I do too much and spread myself too thin... But today made me see that clearly. 

Everything written said my son started work at 4.... I took him to work at 2.... 

I guess I need to stop stretching myself too thin.

OCD and getting turned around

My son has ADHD, anxiety, and slight obsessive disorder. He has patterns and routines.

Tonight, him and a friend went for a walk. It got dark and they got turned around, ending up in a area they had not planned on.

They got back on track and he called me to tell me they were on their way back. I could hear the anxiety in his voice and breathing.

His friend doesn't know about this.

When he got home, he was short and snippy. Then he started to tear up. Yep, I'm a mom, I hit the nail on the head when I asked him if the stress was from "getting lost". Yep, sure enough... And then the flood gates opened and he sobbed.

This is sometime I have learned to recognize and defuse but it's tough when his mood is sharp.

He is in a hot bath and relaxing. Time for bed... Its been a long day...

Early morning church, breakfast, movie, family dinner, went for a walk, went to his friend's, went for another walk, got turned around, and finally got home...

Oh yeah, long day...

Happy Easter everyone!

Run down...

Ya know... there are days...
in a nutshell...
My sons bff has to have surgery for tumors on her sinuses.
My "sister" and her family went on vacation. He Mon was hit by a car on the first day, crossing the street to get coffee.
My bff moved out of her house and left her husband.
I have 2 weeks left of college.
My sons bff's mom has been given a year tool live...

I am so done.... enough is enough!!!!!!

Brain pain

Ever had so much on your mind that your head hurts and you are just shot????? That's me.... today.... bleh!

Today... a day off... so strange

Okay... today is a day off. No work. No school. No homework. Really no nothing. Also no idea how to handle it. Been to the gym. Nothing on TV. Too early for dinner. Don't know how to sit still. Should be doing something. Right? Wow... can't even relax when I can relax.

Wishing Everyone a Happy 2013

Hope everyone had a great New Year's Eve... and if your 2012 was anything like mine... I am so glad it's over.

My 2012 was kind of a wild ride... and I am ready to regroup and get down to business.

This year, I am going to amp up my home-based business, work-out at the gym and get toned, finish my current college degree, maybe get a promotion at work (if one becomes available), and then maybe even find someone to spend quality time with...

Even my doctor asked if I was dating someone... that made me truly think about it... and even more depressed. Oh well.

I hope everyone has a great new year and may all your hopes and wishes come true in 2013!

child had meltdown...

Ran out of milk yesterday (Christmas Eve).
Today We have been home.
Still out of milk.
Have been snoozing.
Woke up after 3 hours, only to be blindsided by "why aren't you buying milk?"
Aarrgghh. F* it! I grabbed my purse, no phone, to get milk.
Child had meltdown.
Can't put it into writing because it is just too unbelievable to explain!
Anyway, child had meltdown, I bought milk, everyone is leaving me alone, and I am having a beer!
Serious, is this what I have to deal with? Maybe I WILL go to work tomorrow!

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A brief post - a dilemma

I have a dilemma... maybe nothing major but something on my mind.
I work in a department is 97% guys. Not a problem.
There is one guy though, who is really giving me a "dilemma".
It might not be anything, but... every morning and evening, all the guys say Hi and Goodbye, I hang with them at break, everything is good. I am a fellow employee.
But then there is the one... he won't say Hi to me... even when I say Hi to him by name. He won't acknowledge me. It drives me crazy... I am wondering if it's his own "personality defect" or he is just that way. He will talk to everyone around me, but me... nope... not even a "hi".
WTF? I don't understand?
This has been in the back of my mind for over a week and I really need to let it go, but I'm curious what his issue is?
Anyone else have this situation? Any advice?

stress and distress

Part of me felt bad because I just dropped the class I was currently in, due to stress and anxiety.

But as I think about it, it is my body's way of putting it's foot down.

I have been taking classes for almost 11 straight months, 5 weeks each, back to back. I have also had my son gone a week, my mom with a stroke, my own self changing jobs, my mom having surgery, and more.

I think God is telling me to stop a moment....

Need to Admit it to myself

I have had so many things going on lately, that I just don't know which way my world is spinning.

I finally had to suck it up and tell my teacher that I cannot honestly apply myself to the class I am currently taking. I have been so out of it and now the anxiety I feel by being behind is killing me.

I understand that I will need to pay to retake this class, but the anxiety will push me further down the road of sickness if I don't face the reality. Honest, I didn't want to do it, but I had to make that decision.

I hate having to make these decisions, but this one was for my own sanity.


 

Others? And Us?

Do you think that in order to be happy we must ignore others? Is it even possible to do this? Is the goal to only let others and their opinions affect us so much? Have you ever made a hard but worth-it personal or professional decision?

I have found that when we ignore others, it does not make us any better than the next person. We can't ignore people just because we want to be someone better. Ignorance does not make us better, it makes us ignorant.  We need to find happiness, but we need to find it within ourselves. We cannot ignore those people who do not fit into our routine. We need to know where they fit in and continue to include them. Ignoring people is the way we act when we are in elementary school, not when we are adults. In school, we can burn bridges and give the silent treatment, but in the real world we need all the friends we can get, they may turn out to be enemies, they may turn out to be allies, they may turn out to be coworkers, or even our bosses. We can never predict where the roads we chose will lead, but we need to think about how we treat others before acting prematurely. It is difficult to see eye-to-eye with someone when their opinion or objective is different from ours. We each need to keep our eyes and mind open, to understand and learn.

My most recent decision to move on in my life was a difficult one because the people I worked with became like family to me, as I spent more time with them than with my own family. This pulled me in so many directions. I felt like I was letting down those I worked with, but leaving and starting over, but I also felt like they let me down by not valuing what I could do. I learned, through heartache and tears, that they will appreciate me for who I am and will accept me for what I am able to do, and will understand why I made the decision I did. If they don't, then it is their loss. I gave my all and kept chugging along, but this was a challenge for me, both physically and mentally.

I can't ignore people because they come back around somewhere else in my life and I need to know that we can still work together. Ignorance IS NOT bliss.


 

Going insane

My email service is temporarily locked and I am going crazy. I can't access my email, I have no clue what is happening. Customer support on their end totally sucks. I have called them at least 4 times, all with different answers.

This f'ing sucks and I am sooooo not happy!!!!!

 

Tuesday overload

My brain hurts. I am seriously having difficulties focusing today. I am not sure why, but I can feel it. My brain feels like mush and my head is kind of swimming. I took my anxiety pill, trying to regain my focus. It seems like my brain has been on fast-forward since last week and I can't seem to get my bearings. I am not exactly sure what is happening but it's surreal. I can't focus to save my life. My desk looks like a bomb exploded on it. I am not clear on why it's all so fuzzy... but it is...

 

meds

My son went with friends last night and stayed over... Which means he did not get his nightly meds. Which explains the attitude today.

The attitude today is tough.  I would like to ring his neck, but I can't.

I bit my tongue and kept my mouth shut. I hate it when we have days like this.

One of those... Mondays

Ever had one of those days when anything you seem to do is absolutely wrong?
Someone is always trying to get you in trouble?
Someone is always second-guessing what you do (or did)?
Don't you hate it when someone always wants to be the big dog?
I have been doing this long enough that I am not stupid... and I absolutely hate it when people treat me like I have not idea what I am doing!
There is always someone who THINKS they are in charge, when they don't know jack?
Why me? What have I done to deserve this?
I guess because I don't say anything. I just quietly do my job.
I am keeping my mouth shut, but stomach hurts and I feel sick.
I am biting my tongue, but I want to speak my mind... but I am better than that. I am more mature than that. I don't go tattling when she does something... especially since I end up being told not to act like that and we all have to get along.
I feel so sick... I want to leave... I want to cry...
I hate it.

Feel miserable - What happened to privacy?

I have a good friend, whom I have been close to for most of my life.

I sent her an email because I was having a hard time with something, so I needed to talk.

It was a very (un)pleasant surprise to find out there her husband looks at the emails also.

I don't know if they have one account or if he just randomly checks them, but it bothered me. I feel like I can no longer turn to her if I need to talk because I can't email her.

I feel like my privacy has been compromised. Now I can't help but think back and wonder what else I have sent her, and if he read it? I want to say something to her, but I can't.

The reason I found out is because he emailed me back and kinda scolded me. What the hell? I was mad, I was hurt, I was beside myself. I want to say something, I want to say nothing... I am confused... and miserable. What the hell?

 

Struggling to fit in... and

This has been along week and I feel like a bull in a china shop... there is so much going on around me and it is making me spin uncontrollably. I don't know which way I am going or when all this will stop. I do know there is a light at the end of the tunnel, but it's one LONG f'n tunnel! I feel like I'm struggling. I am fighting to keep my head above water to keep myself from drowning. Have you ever noticed that when there is light at the end of the tunnel, and you can see it, every one of those small pot holes you used to walk over suddenly seem to be everywhere and it's getting pretty frustrating constantly having to walk over or around them. When you suddenly know the little things are not right... it makes the whole situation out of sorts. When you are in a comfort zone, nothing is too major, you live with it, do what you have to, and continue to move forward. When you make that move, everything so small is a pain and pisses me off. I don't know what way I am going anymore...