Friends

Have you ever had a friend who was your best friend in the whole world but then there were times when you weren't sure where you stood?

It suddenly is like you don't exist. Like you are a best friend when it's convenient and they have time for you, but otherwise they don't go out of their way.

I have one friend I've known forever and we are really close. She came to visit and made time to spend time with everyone but then expected me to make the time to go to her, although she went past me two or three times. So I missed out because my schedule didn't fit in because I had to work. Part of me is sad because I didn't get to see her but part of me is upset because she could have taken a few hours to stop by and say hi.  Oh well. 

And then I have a second friend who is busy with her world but finds me when she needs something. She can't pay her bills but she can go out to eat and take her child places, and do the recreation things. Her bills include paying me back when I helped her out, but I guess I should know better. She has people buying her things and she doesn't seem to hesitate going out... With her pretty friends. I feel negative about myself as it is, but the fact that she doesn't go hang out with me, instead she does things with her "pretty & sexy" friends... And then floods social media with photos... I feel like a piece of shit.

What the hell is wrong with me? I have such a low self-esteem... And my friends seem so pretty and popular that I feel like a reject.