I just SOO do not fit in!

I am sitting here, just listening. I truly do not fit in!

I am kind of a hermit... well... yea... kinda.

I don't go out much, as I have little or no money for entertainment. My money goes to my son and my bills.

I don't seem to be as up on the social scene as all the others at work, but it guess it's because I have different priorities.

Sometimes having different priorities make us the odd man out, but I have a great son who I love. I trust him and he hasn't betrayed me. I have a few good friends, whom I love dearly, with all my heart. I don't have a boyfriend because the right one hasn't come around... and I am really not in a hurry right now.. I have a job, I work more than one job, I go to school.

Yes, I guess you can say that my priorities are different from those who travel (and have the money to do so) or those who go on dates, but I am happy with my decisions, although slightly frustrated some days.

I don't understand why everyone feels they need to try smoking pot either? That's another thing. I don't have any desire, never have tried it, or wanted to. When I say I don't believe in it, they look at me like I am lying. Yeah, okay, whatever... guess it's because I was raised in a household of a different generation. This is another issue that seems off.

Why can't people appreciate my own decisions?

Why do I have to be and act like everyone else?

If they don't like me now, they sure as hell won't like me then!

I guess, in a nutshell... I just don't fit in... and from my gut feelings... I probably never will!

 

Taking Risks in Writing

Tell us, what sorts of risks are you afraid of taking in your writing? How can we help you move past those fears?

I have to admit that I probably take more risks in my writing than I do in my daily life.

My writing is an outlet. A way to express who I am and what I am about.

I am a mom, a sister, a daughter, a college student, an employee, a friend, but the one thing I tend to forget is that I am also a woman. (That is so weird to say... I am more of a tomboy, so I don't ever refer to myself as a woman... or beautiful... or pretty... or sexy...)

When you grow and live like a tomboy, that seems to be your mindset from day to day.

I love to dress up and be lady-like, but I will knock you to the floor if you get in my space!

Anyway... back to the topic at hand.

I do enjoy writing and, when I write, I can be who I want to be and do what I want to do, but... there is a catch... as there always is... I don't let others read my writing. Others do not know that I write... or even what I write. It's like that is a personal side of me, where I am vulnerable.

My biggest fear is letting others read my writing. Will they think I'm strange? Will they look at me different? Will my writing freak them out?

Unless I open that door and let them read that chapter, I guess I will never know for sure...

 

HELP! My cape is stuck in the door!!!!

Super Mom? Maybe...

Leap tall buildings? I can try...

Fly at the speed of light? Only if my child is in trouble...

Super strength? When I need to defend...

The last two weeks have tried every super power I may (or may not) have...

My son went on his first mission trip and I went through child-withdrawl. The cat did not like him being gone, so I had to contend with his cranky, mouthiness while his "brother" was gone... to Chicago... in 100+ temps. My mom suffered a small stroke the end of that week, but being bull-headed, I couldn't budge her. My son got home Friday... mom went to the hospital Saturday (finally) after I had to resort to being "not so nice"... Sunday, I had to work at church and then we had to serve meals to those less fortunate... plus I still had my full-time job, my son at home, my mom in the hospital, and school work to do... not to mention sleeping and eating... (oh wait... sleep and food are optional... right?)

So, this past Friday, we all came back together. My son is home (and he has FINALLY unpacked the duffle bag from his trip... although I took the damp, stanky stuff out as soon as he walked in the door). My mom is home... now placed happily on her couch, with the old lady kitty, and her tv remote. I am getting caught up with school, but I can't get my cape unstuck!

HELP! My cape is STILL stuck in the door!!!!!

 

Monday Listicles 7/16/12

10 THANKS

1. Thanks to my followers, without whom my blogs would not be possible.

2. Thanks to my BFF who thinks that I am truly NOT crazy, but I wonder her stability too...

3. Thanks to my son, who makes me constantly wonder what he is truly thinking and how his mind works.

4. Thanks to my cats, for making me stop and relax, even if it means laying across me, in front of my ipad or between me and the tv.

5. Thanks to my mom who, as she is getting older, makes me appreciate who I am.

6. Thanks to those in my church, who pray for me and keep me grounded when things get rough.

7. Thanks to those at work, who I am able to confide in and know what I am truly capable of.

8. Thanks to my good friends who appreciate me, no matter what.

9. Thanks to my ex, who makes me understand what I DON'T want in a relationship!

10. Thanks to my family, who makes me realize that I am not a created nut-case... it is truly inherited!

Feeling Beachie 07/13/12

  

This week’s statements:

1. My day always starts by _feeding the cats and the fish_
2. I prefer _cold pizza_ to _normal breakfast_
3. I never thought I’d _get married_ until I _actually did_
4.  I wish I could _just get away from the world_ for _even one day_.

It is FINALLY Friday...

Well, it has definitely been a long week.

My son left on Sunday for a Mission Trip with 14 other kids... and three adults... in 3 cars.... driving 2.5 hours... in 90-degree weather.

From what I am hearing... the kids are kinda cranky because the heat is hot and there is no breeze.

He comes home tonight and I am happy. I have totally missed him.

This week has gone so slow.

Mentally I am burnt out... physically... I am too....

TGIF!! 

Sunday evening.... quiet house

Okay, I got my son off on the mission trip.

One mom who was there was great... She explained that its okay to feel the separation anxiety. I miss him... And he has only been gone less than 6 hrs since the caravan of 3 cars pulled from the church parking lot.

I watched him and the 14 other kids head south. I got in the car and came home. Yes, I shed tears...

I got home and went to the gym... Which was also odd, since we always went together. I pounded it for an hour and then came home and took a nap. I feel like I'm missing my best friend.

My mom is 80... And doesn't always think about what she says. Tonight it was a comment about it being the same as always because he is always in his room... And then the comment about the refrigerator door staying closed... And then about him possibly losing weight.

I walked away. This talk is not unusual, but it flashed me back to my youth when she did the same to me, but I will protect my child.

Anyway, I have his stuffed animal on my bed so he is in my dreams tonight.

It's going to be a long 5 more days.

Good night my friends....

Today... it might be tough

Today is a new day. It's been a long week and there is so much things happening. But those things are not what is going to make today tough...

My son will be 15 this summer. We have been a two-person family since his dad walked out of his life approximately 8 years ago, so we have each other and that is how it's been all these years.

Anyway... this afternoon he leaves for a church mission trip. The kids leave today and won't be home until next weekend. I am excited... he is excited, but what has been in my mind... was said out loud by him...

Last night at dinner, he looked up at me and said "this will be the longest we have been apart". He did have those same thoughts. Until today, we have never been apart more than 1 or 2 nights. This is going to be so much more. I know he will be in safe hands and he will be having a good time... it's just that initial shock of having my buddy and companion gone for a whole week.

I am prepared (kinda), but I am still a mom.

 

The big dog... err... cat... if our house

Let me start by telling you that the Big Dog position of our house is held by a 5-pound cat.

Yes, believe it or not... she is the Queen and truly has the "power".

My mom is out of town, so I am home from work, on a "mini vacation". We have our little 5-lb "old lady" who is truly large (not physically in any way!) and in charge! When my mom (aka Grandma) is home, that cat has her wrapped around her furry little paws and know which buttons to push. She can "demand" to eat at 3am... and my mom feeds her. Yes, absurd, but honest truth. Talk about spoiled! She gets up on my mom's dresser and starts banging things against the large mirror in the back, or... she gets on the desk and starts pushing things onto the floor. She is a little minion, but she is cute... yeah... right... but probably not so much at 3am!

Okay, anyway, the story is... when my mom is home, the two of them spend the day laying on the couch, watching tv, napping, and then the "old lady" feels the need to eat every few hours, but she still keeps her girlish figure... She believes she should have food at 3am, then she hits me up at 5am (so we have to keep an "honesty pad" on the counter so I know if she has eaten or not because she tends to bend the truth). Her and my mom eat lunch and then she gets dinner at 4pm, along with a snack at 9pm. (And yes, she still remains a 5-lb cat!)

Mom left yesterday and I fed all the cats dinner. I went to bed last night and the old lady was curled in her rocker, snoring like a little freight train (yes, she suffers from sinus issues and experiences allergies, causing hee to snore and whistle!). She stayed there all night, never moved, never got up. This morning, she was still curled up at 7am. I went to the kitchen with the other cats and got their dishes. She didn't come out for breakfast... I literally had to wake her up and carry her out to the kitchen for breakfast... okay... lazy... and spoiled.

She doesn't prowl for food at odd hours when I am home with her... because when Grandma is gone... I (yes ME) am the big dog in the house... but once Grandma gets back... I relinquish that "big dog" title back to my little old lady...

Go figure...

Me... Kreative Blogger Award? Wow. Who Knew

Roe At My Upside Down Life presented me with the Kreativ Blogger Award.

I think she said it well when she said "It took me way too long to get around to doing this, but it's only because I suck at receiving compliments and also because I am somewhat challenged by all the rules that go along with this award". Oh yes, so true... I totally understand, to which I also owe an apology of delay...

I would like to thank Roe for putting me on her "deserving" list. This blog, in my eyes, is still in the "baby stage" - it's not really old, but it does have many followers, for that I am grateful. I put this together as a way of sharing my world and my "mommy experiences" with those who are also in the same boat (and in my case - NOT a minivan! hehe!) 

Now, on to the rules and requirements...

The Rules:
1.  Thank and link back to the awarding blog.
2.  Answer seven questions.
3.  Provide 10 random factoids about yourself.
4.  Hand the award on to 7 deserving others.

Here are seven questions (the same ones Roe answered)...

The Questions:
#1. What is your favorite song? "Blown Away" by Carrie Underwood

#2. What's your favorite desert? If I could have anything... Tiramisu

#3. What do you do when you are upset? I shut down and don't talk to anyone, but not before I let out a growl.

#4. Which is your favorite pet? I love my kitty cats... but dogs are awesome too (but they have to be BIG dogs... not little yippers!)

#5. Which do you prefer, White or Whole Wheat? Whole wheat mostly, but white for smooshed down cheese sandwiches.

#6. What is your your biggest fear? Failure... and speaking in public...

#7. What is your attitude mostly? I try to be positive and pleasant... but there are days.

Ten Random Factoids... all about ME:

#1 - I am divorced and my ex-husband is in jail

#2 - I enjoy drinking wine.

#3 - I am ready to get another tattoo

#4 - I enjoy cooking.

#5 - I have over 30 pairs of shoes

#6 - I love buying purses

#7 - I do not enjoy my job some days.

#8 - I love to swim

#9 - I forgive, but don't always forget.

#10 - Do not mess with my son or my mom, as I get to be a nasty mama if you do!

And now... drum roll please.. 7 deserving bloggers... (no certain order)

#1 - Boca Frau

#2 - Northwest Mommy

#3 - Feeling Beachie

#4 - Michelle Longo

#5 - Lady Goo Goo Ga Ga

#6 - This Belle Rocks

#7 - Ms Composure

Stop by, visit, say hi. and keep blogging!